traffic

September 12th, 2008 .

Most sidewalks in China are composed of tiles or cobblestones, and in the major cities there is usually a path with ridges for the convenience of the blind. In all the Chinese cities I’ve walked through, with all the millions of people, I have never seen a blind person walking the street. Even if I were to see a blind person, I could not imagine them utilizing the pathway because they would most certainly be accompanied by a friend or relative. When crossing the street with a Chinese friend I have become accustomed to the physical reassurance they offer by pulling my arm or putting their arm out to stop me from walking. I became used to the sight of Chinese girls walking hand in hand or arm in arm, supporting each other as if they had just stumbled out of a burning building. These observations may seem strange to the Western pedestrian, but they make all too much sense on Chinese roads.

I no longer gripped the “oh shit handles” in the taxi when we made a U-turn across three lanes of traffic at a busy green light. There would be honking, yielding, coming to a stop with our taxi perpendicular to oncoming traffic as we waited for the last lane of traffic to present an opening. The first time my taxi pulled in front of a bus from a stop in second gear it is easy to imagine the panic I felt, a different but just as anxious feeling came up the first time my taxi cut off a police car with its sirens on. It turns out that Chinese police turn on their lights to signify that they are on duty, but the rules of the road are clearly different. Traffic lights seem to be guidelines, the paint that separate lanes are mere decoration and horns see far more use than turn signals. Yet I always got from point A to point B.

Why is it that I got safely to where I was going? How could a system without rules accomplish exactly the results we depend on our laws to provide? There is a subtle and pervasive undercurrent in China that shapes the behavior of its citizens. This force can be described as a tacit mutual understanding between every individual. This understanding must be continuously maintained, constantly updated by being aware of ones surroundings. My friend pulling my arm was a sign that she was paying attention to my welfare, and stopping me with his arm was another friends reaction to the approaching cars. A taxi turning across a full street relies on the understanding held by the oncoming drivers, and when he stops with one lane left, he is considering the Audi speeding down the last lane who can’t slow down enough to accommodate him. It is not the rules of traffic that guide the decisions each driver makes, it is the surrounding environment that dictate the next move.

And traffic is just the metaphor.

mini apple is…

June 30th, 2008 .

Delicious…

I suppose travelling always results in these sorts of coincidences, the kind that you don’t forsee and can never expect because you only get them when you aren’t looking for them. Today was just such a day in Minneapolis. After flying out of Miami International from a wonderful wedding (which should get its own blog post when the time is right) I landed in Minneapolis/St. Paul International airport around 5pm. I quickly found a locker to stow my duffle bag and inquired about the public transportation. The light rail runs directly from the airport to downtown Minneapolis, but I decided to get out at the metrodome. Apparently while I was admiring the stadium I failed to realize that my cell phone was staying on the metro without me. While this was of course upsetting and incredibly careless, I wasn’t about to let it ruin my freedom. It was out of batteries with my charger safely stowed in the airport locker, and it wouldn’t work in China for the next two months. I hope it’s new owner is good to it and the young 2gb miniSD card in it’s womb.

With no one to call in Minneapolis anyway I held my chin up and started walking in the downtown direction, where there were large shiny and reflective buildings. I walked past the coolest parking garage I’ve ever seen with about 10 kids skating smooth banks that could be mistaken for ramps. I fought the urge to hurt myself and decided to find a coffeeshop with free wifi. After walking through the amazing courtyards of government plaza I wandered down Nicollet Ave. stopping briefly for a free sample of bagelful and the tail end of some kind of latin music festival. Nearby was a Caribou Coffee, but at 7:15 I only had 45 minutes before they closed. So I found out from a barista that there was a 24/7 coffee shop called Hard Times Cafe and got directions. It was a short “light rail” ride and a few blocks walking to find the bright neon green building with a full vegetarian kitchen. Of course I had to get a grilled cheese and a coffee. What I admit next is shameful, and much to the chagrin of myself and everyone else that cares about me, but I resumed my battle with nicotine. The pull from travelling and some discrepencies while celebrating in Miami was just too strong for my travel and freedom induced mindstate to defend against. Of course this can’t continue but this infernal chemical has once again sunk its fangs into my mind.

I would have liked to have eaten at one of the restaurants in the African American district around the corner, as in the East-Africa American Diner but unfortunately Sunday evening isn’t the right time for that. I did get to see some elegantly and brightly dressed people walking the street.
A casual chat with the barrista at about midnight sent me around the corner to a bar called Palmer’s. The beer was cheap, the music was good and the environment was incredibly chill. This former “house of ill-repute” is 102 years old, with cash registers that were modern in the 40’s. Apparently one of the working girls still haunts the place, nightly knocking over a glass or chair when no one is around. The patronage could be called alternative, but that seems like such a cop-out. There were white girls with tattoos, dreads and lip-rings and black guys in button ups and multi-colored kicks, its the kind of place where you end up falling short when trying to sum it up. I drank a couple beers with a group of real chill musicians/travelers who were all out of school one way or another. On the piano was Cornbread Joe, apparently an old school jazz pianist from Chicago whos age did not stop his fingers from giving the keys a multi-racial ass-whooping.

With my intent to stay up all night I decided to cut myself off at 2 beers and head back to the coffeeshop, where I find myself now writing this blog post and waiting on some french toast. As clean as downtown is, I find myself much more at home among free wifi and cheap coffee. Cheers to getting a head start on jet lag in a happenin’ way!

robots + skateboards

January 14th, 2008 .

enj + foblander present:

Over the break I pirated Final Cut Pro and Logic Pro and cut my teeth on this little skate video. Using tools like those for a project like this is kind of like using a backhoe to scoop ice-cream, but why settle for anything less than the best?

It’s Jimmy and I skating on campus, with a cameo from a random guy I saw skating in China. Oh yeah, and there are robots.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5ZBLlzgica0

gou bu li + subs

December 31st, 2007 .

 

It must have been two years since I made this video, right before I switched from Windows to Mac (and switching the Windows machine to Linux).  I was using Adobe Premiere to edit, and apparently I was almost done subtitling this video before I made the switch and lost access to the Windows only Adobe Premiere. Now with the magic of Parallels for Mac I can run Windows instantly (and only when I’m forced to) so I dug up my old project file and whipped up the last few subtitles. Now my non-Chinese-speaking friends can enjoy this silliness!  

youtube link

identify with culture, a quiz

October 22nd, 2007 .

This past weekend I went to Gainesville to attend SERCAAL, the South East Regional Conference for Asian American Leaders at the University of Florida. What I took back to Tallahassee was several interesting observations and some re-opened questions for myself. First I want to point out that I am not an Asian American, hell, I even struggle with the concept of being American. I went to this conference because I am an officer in FSU’s Asian American Student Union and I am president of our Chinese Language and Culture Association. So I guess that makes me a leader in organizations that involve Asian Americans, not to mention I traveled with some great people to take part in the conference.

Two of the workshops I attended were given by the same lecturer, a Ryan Takemiya who discussed Asian American popular culture, and the lack thereof. He made very interesting points about identity by looking at the popular culture (the culture of the majority, not necessarily ‘corporate pop’) of other races in America, and of various ethnicities in Asia. He explored how hip-hop has become incredibly popular throughout Asia, and looked at its popularity inside the US. What he illustrated is the way many ethnic groups have unique ways of expressing their culture that they ‘own’. He argued that black people ‘own’ hip-hop in the way that white people ‘own’ alternative rock. That isn’t to say other ethnicities are excluded, but that those forms of expression are manifestations of the identity of each culture. Therefor while members of other cultures may enjoy the art, they won’t truly be able to identify with it. His major point was that Asian Americans are lacking this kind of popular culture. They are missing a shared identity that they ‘own’. There are Asian Americans who are talented at hip-hop or breakdancing or guitar, but there still aren’t any artists, or forms of expression that they can call their own.

His lecture made me think about myself. As a white male who grew up in a generally suburban atmosphere in America one would think I could just identify and fit in with white American culture. Strangely, I have found myself always at odds with it. The fact that I was born in the Netherlands, and was raised speaking a second language at home is probably my first break. I was always taught from an international perspective by my parents, and have visited my motherland every other year since we moved to the U.S. when I was 2 years old. Of course I look like every other white American, so these things were never thrown in my face by the ignorant. I can’t and won’t ever be able to understand what its like to be oppressed for my heritage. In fact the only thing thats been thrown in my face is my heritage of being an oppressor, since Europeans (and the Dutch) were the slave traders. So I can’t be nationalistic, or ‘Patriotic’ to one country due to my ties to the other. What about my popular culture? Since I could afford CDs I’ve bought hip-hop/rap. At first mostly mainstream, but with the explosion of the internet my tastes gradually widened. I find it strange that I’ve always chosen to listen to music that I can’t identify with and I’ve never enjoyed music that I might have been able to identify with. Now I’m learning a language spoken by a billion people who will always know I’m not a native speaker upon site.

Being at SERCAAL opened my eyes a little bit, outwardly to progress, yet also inwardly to emptiness. I was watching the energy of the other students around me. I saw the way they were flirting with each other, nervously discussing their experiences, excitedly predicting the future, smiling and greeting everyone around them. All brought together, united, by the fact that they were Asian Americans. The conference members were in a place where they could identify with everyone else around them. I could feel the comfort around me, the ease with which otherwise shy people were able to relax and communicate. It was truly beautiful to witness, I can imagine how wonderful it feels to experience.

So what is my popular culture? What do I identify with? I won’t claim to have any struggles, I hardly know suffering. I do not wish to be anybody other than myself. I just feel like I’m missing something, something that I can pull strength from. I suppose this something would be a source of pride, something I can share with others, that people who don’t have it would respect, and people who do would know exactly what it was. I need something to call my own.

identify with culture, a quiz

October 22nd, 2007 .

This past weekend I went to Gainesville to attend SERCAAL, the South East Regional Conference for Asian American Leaders at the University of Florida. What I took back to Tallahassee was several interesting observations and some re-opened questions for myself. First I want to point out that I am not an Asian American, hell, I even struggle with the concept of being American. I went to this conference because I am an officer in FSU’s Asian American Student Union and I am president of our Chinese Language and Culture Association. So I guess that makes me a leader in organizations that involve Asian Americans, not to mention I traveled with some great people to take part in the conference.

Two of the workshops I attended were given by the same lecturer, a Ryan Takemiya who discussed Asian American popular culture, and the lack thereof. He made very interesting points about identity by looking at the popular culture (the culture of the majority, not necessarily ‘corporate pop’) of other races in America, and of various ethnicities in Asia. He explored how hip-hop has become incredibly popular throughout Asia, and looked at its popularity inside the US. What he illustrated is the way many ethnic groups have unique ways of expressing their culture that they ‘own’. He argued that black people ‘own’ hip-hop in the way that white people ‘own’ alternative rock. That isn’t to say other ethnicities are excluded, but that those forms of expression are manifestations of the identity of each culture. Therefor while members of other cultures may enjoy the art, they won’t truly be able to identify with it. His major point was that Asian Americans are lacking this kind of popular culture. They are missing a shared identity that they ‘own’. There are Asian Americans who  are talented at hip-hop or breakdancing or guitar, but there still aren’t any artists, or forms of expression that they can call their own.

His lecture made me think about myself. As a white male who grew up in a generally suburban atmosphere in America one would think I could just identify and fit in with white American culture. Strangely, I have found myself always at odds with it. The fact that I was born in the Netherlands, and was raised speaking a second language at home is probably my first break. I was always taught from an international perspective by my parents, and have visited my motherland every other year since we moved to the U.S. when I was 2 years old. Of course I look like every other white American, so these things were never thrown in my face by the ignorant. I can’t and won’t ever be able to understand what its like to be oppressed for my heritage. In fact the only thing thats been thrown in my face is my heritage of being an oppressor, since Europeans (and the Dutch) were the slave traders. So I can’t be nationalistic, or ‘Patriotic’ to one country due to my ties to the other. What about my popular culture? Since I could afford CDs I’ve bought hip-hop/rap. At first mostly mainstream, but with the explosion of the internet my tastes gradually widened. I find it strange that I’ve always chosen to listen to music that I can’t identify with and I’ve never enjoyed music that I might have been able to identify with. Now I’m learning a language spoken by a billion people who will always know I’m not a native speaker upon site.

Being at SERCAAL opened my eyes a little bit, outwardly to progress, yet also inwardly to emptiness. I was watching the energy of the other students around me. I saw the way they were flirting with each other, nervously discussing their experiences, excitedly predicting the future, smiling and greeting everyone around them. All brought together, united, by the fact that they were Asian Americans.  The conference members were in a place where they could identify with everyone else around them. I could feel the comfort around me, the ease with which otherwise shy people were able to relax and communicate. It was truly beautiful to witness, I can imagine how wonderful it feels to experience.

So what is my popular culture? What do I identify with?  I won’t claim to have any struggles, I hardly know suffering. I do not wish to be anybody other than myself. I just feel like I’m missing something, something that I can pull strength from. I suppose this something would be a source of pride, something I can share with others, that people who don’t have it would respect, and people who do would know exactly what it was. I need something to call my own.

China, round 2

July 4th, 2007 .

I’m back, after two years I’m back in Tianjin. Man its good to be here, but things are different and in a lot of ways.
One of the most obvious changes is my environment. Buildings have popped up everywhere, construction is underway all around the school. The small 2 story 20 room dorm I stayed in 2 years ago is being torn down as I write this to make room for a 12 story 400 student building. The foundation of a skyscraper can be seen from our 9th floor classroom, and every day the crane is busy. The scaffolding of a gigantic hotel takes up 3 blocks closer to downtown, but you can’t see any of this if you ride the brand new subway. The small shopping street where I used to buy cheap tshirts and bootleg movies is now a market underground because they built a building on top of it. I scored some nice addidas sunglasses for about 5$ there the other day.

Then there is Beijing. A huge city, beautiful, clean and dirty at the same time. Saturday it rained water weighed down with soot, then Sunday the sun shone so bright Florida AND California should be jealous. As far as change, I cannot attest to anything more than that it has taken place. It probably changed with each trip I made 2 years ago, and with all the money being poured into the city for the Olympics change is everywhere. I know that next time I go back to Beijing, maybe in a couple weeks, I will most definitely be bringing my skateboard to hit up the smooth sidewalks, marble ledges and crazy structures.

As far as how things have changed personally, I’m not sure I could fit it all on this webpage. I’ll try to give a glimpse, and expand upon it as the trip continues.

One amazing event was meeting my uncle, Yip. I had met him briefly once 4 years ago in Holland, but this time Nathan and I really got to meet him. He is a close friend of my late grandmother in Holland. He grew up there from 12 years old and originally comes from Hong Kong. After running a succesful restaurant business in the Netherlands he has sold them and moved to Beijing recently to pursue other business opportunities. When we arrived in Beijing International Aiport on Friday June 22nd, he picked us up. He took us to his (very nice) appartment to freshen up. Soon afterwards we had a nice dinner at a nearby restaurant. We had fish cooked with a pepper that numbs your mouth, shrimp exquisitely wrapped in a way I can’t describe, delicious beef and several other dishes I don’t know the name of. We ate with Yip’s sister and friends, most of which spoke Dutch. It was quite an experience to speak mostly Dutch on my first day in China.

What we spoke about was also very interesting. I felt totally at home with my uncle, and I really liked some of the ideas he made clear to me. One piece of advice I am trying to appreciate is to always give 100% to the situation at hand. He said he used to be thinking about 5 things at once wherever he was at, trying to plan and manage his business. This cost him a lot in terms of the time he spent with others and the activities he was busy with. If one instead focuses all of their energy on the present situation they can recieve much more from it, in terms of enjoyment or value while the stress of other obligations and thought processes melt away. This has become very valuable advice in the context of being RA, while I’m trying to take classes and enjoy my time in China I am also constantly supposed to be helping other students and arranging things for them. This makes it very easy to drift off in thought trying to plan or account for things while I should be pulling all the enjoyment I can from a good dinner with new friends, or absorbing all the chinese I can from class in the morning.
Another valuable point came out of a discussion about leadership. Yip has been a manager of companies as well as the owner of a busy restaurant, so he should know a thing or two about leadership. When I asked him if he had some tips about leadership he made a very clear observation about what leadership actually is. It isn’t a personality trait, and it isn’t something you strive for. Leadership is a byproduct of giving all your energy to solving problems and providing for a group of people. If instead of worrying about leading people, you take action to solve their problems and give them the resources they need to accomplish what they want, you end up leading in the end. A leadership personality is different, these kind of people can’t be wrong because they are expected to lead. Everybody is wrong sometimes, so a leadership personality will not only lead people to success, but also to dissaster.
This made me feel a lot more comfortable with a lot of aspects of what I want to do with my life. I don’t really consider myself a leader or a person with a leadership personality, but what I do like doing is solving problems, and solving them for lots of people at once. So if leadership is not a prerequisite for this, but rather a byproduct I have much more chance of being successful.

That about sums up my first day or two and the thoughts that came up. We are already almost done with our 2nd week, so there is still lots more to cover. As RA and student, as well as trying to meet and learn more and more, I stay pretty busy. I went an ungodly 5 days without internet this last week, and things might not get any better in that respect.
So I hope everyone is having a good summer, and till the next time I get on the web!
-Ian

barack black out

February 24th, 2007 .

I recently read an article in the New York Times that left me with a twist in my stomach and the bitter aftertaste of racism. In it the author analyzes Barack Obama’s political challenge of not being black enough. The article pretends to present both sides of the issue, but falls prey to the same racism that has corrupted the minds and made cowards of those who created this issue in the first place.

First I find it important to make it clear why this issue is simply a manifestation of racism, a perverted self-inflicted result of the same oppression these detractors complain that Obama is not familiar with. The reason this is racism is because the argument is made completely inside a racist oriented framework. It is based on the notion that culture is solely spawned from race, or even more non-nonsensically, that race is derived directly from culture. Obama is not black because he does not belong to African-American culture, which one can only belong to if one can trace their heritage somehow to slavery. At this point I must break this train of thought, not allowing myself to get trapped in the same logical black hole that the author of the NYTimes article and the coward black intellectuals have been ensnared in.

Rather, I’d like to highlight the fear impregnated in this line of reasoning. I would like to shine the flashlight of history on this bogey man. Have we so soon forgotten the powerful words of our greatest civil rights leaders? Black and white alike, Martin Luther King Jr. and John F. Kennedy both articulated truths that ring far louder than the sniveling whining of these cowards.

In his speech introducing the Civil Rights Act of 1963 JFK made two powerful statements:

” Next week I shall ask the Congress of the United States to act, to make a commitment it has not fully made in this century to the proposition that race has no place in American life or law. ”

Is this no longer the ultimate goal? Is it not true that

“This Nation was founded by men of many nations and backgrounds. It was founded on the principle that all men are created equal”

Why is it so easy to shrink back from this bold statement? Why do we forget our multinational heritage? What makes us forsake equality, is it really for the sake of spiting inequality?

Finally, I wish to conclude with a quote from one of the most powerful speeches of the century, by the most respected civil rights leader of our country

“I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.” -MLK

-enj

barack black out

February 24th, 2007 .

Check out this short essay I wrote:

http://enja.wordpress.com/2007/02/24/barack-black-out/

new year new semester

January 3rd, 2007 .

Next week starts Spring ‘07. Had I stuck with the four year plan it should have been my last semester. Thank god that’s not the plan. It looks like I’ll probably be here for 4 more semesters, including this one. This could be one semester shorter depending on what happens with higher level math classes, but its still plenty of time.

This coming semester should be my most exciting academically so far. I am taking Discrete Math 2, Optimization, and Linear Algebra. Each of these classes interests me because they are all very important for computing. Hopefuly through them I will get used to the formalistic terminology and way of thinking that will allow me to understand the interesting higher level concepts and projects out there.

I’m also taking Business Chinese and Chinese Calligraphy, two classes which should help me continue to improve my Chinese, especially with respect to writing.

Another nice thing about the semester is that my classes are well timed and I have a relatively good work schedule. There is definately some progress going on at work. For one David and I got new computers that we loaded with Ubuntu. God damn it rocks my socks, I’ll never look back on windows.

Speaking of other new things I bought a complete new skateboard, its been years since I did that, always upgrading. Now my old board can be used for people to play with, but its not in good enough condition for serious usage.

And of course a very important newness is being single. I lost a great girl, and now its time to move on. At least I’ll have more time to focus on progressive longevity, creating and producing, and figuring myself out. No emoness here :P

Yep, 07 should be good.  Lets just hope I can put the smokes down.